Aahh! Naigi sama!
by shinenagai
Summary: ON HIATUS Hinata, ANBU, was entrusted an Sclass mission: keep an eye over the suspects of Akatsuki members in… her house. How would she deal with these guys when each of them has weird habit?
1. Ch 1: A Mission

**Aahh! Naigi-sama!**

**Disclaimer:** Masashi Kishimoto, yep. But since Sasori was dead and I revived him again, that means, he's mine, right?

**Genre:** Humor/Romance

**Type:** Continuation hmmm…?

**Rate: **T

**Pairings:** Hinata-Akatsuki Members

**Summary:** Hinata, ANBU, was entrusted an S-class mission: keep an eye over the suspects of Akatsuki members in… her house. How would she deal with these guys when each of them has weird habit?

**Aahh! Naigi-sama!**

**Chapter 1:** _A Mission_

_Are you sure this is a mission...?_

Hinata, 18 year old, the shadow ANBU captain with the mask of Crow. Who were the one behind the Crow mask was still unknown to other people, except Godaime Hokage and Hyuuga Hiashi. Her identity as the strong, determined captain was a legend to all of the ANBU members.

When she was not in her job as the ANBU captain, she was and ordinary, shy and stuttering chuunin. Met Hyuuga Hiashi, her father who taught her to do so. He did that so his daughter wouldn't get much attention, and of course, he didn't want his daughter to be promoted onto higher rank, which that meant a lot of missions. A lot of missions meant a lot of time without Hinata beside him. A lot of time without Hinata beside him meant hell for Hiashi. Hell for Hiashi meant… okay, okay… I'd stop now.

Needless to say, Hiashi was overprotective for his daughter. True Hinata was the shadow captain of ANBU, who only appeared in crisis time, and usually left her mission without being touched by her enemies. That meant, her safety was way better if she kept as the shadow captain.

Thus, until one day she was back from her mission, wounded.

-break-

It was a nice evening at the Godaime's office, and the big boobs owner was sipping on her sake. Exclaimed a moan of satisfaction, she licked her lips. Ahh, the taste of sake in the evening… what else could she need?

She glanced towards the street of Konoha from her window. She almost choked when she saw a flash of light running towards her office. At first, she thought that she saw the legendary Yondaime Hokage, the Yellow Flash. Boy, she was wrong, because this flash wasn't yellow, it was brown. And this newly called Brown Flash was dragging a blushing Hyuuga behind him. That's when Tsunade realized the Brown Flash was indeed… Hyuuga Hiashi…

"YOU CAN'T ENTER THE OFFICE WITHOUT PERMISSION, SIR!" Tsunade heard one of her officer shouted at someone outside. She smirked, because she knew, no one could stop the furious Brown Flash.

The doors flung open when Tsunade decided she would give a proper greeting.

"GO-DA-I-ME-SA-MAAAAAAAA!" Yep, Hyuuga Hiashi was here, in front of her. His chakra flamed in anger, and his hair turned yellow and new pairs of blue eyes replaced his old ones. Whoops, wrong anime… this was supposed to be Naruto, ne?

"Good evening, Hyuuga-sama," Tsunade greeted as if it was nothing, and raised one of her hand towards the furious clan leader, "What can I do for you?"

"You evil, mean, devil! How could you, I repeat, how could you, of all people, sent Hinata into her last mission?" Hiashi pointed his index-finger rudely towards her.

"Well, that's because she's the only one capable for the mission, Hiashi-sama," said Tsunade, trying hard to suppress her anger at Hiashi's rude action.

"And how, HOW did she end up wounded like this?" said Hiashi, raised his daughter hand in front of Tsunade. The young Hyuuga let out an '_eep!_' and blushed deeper than before. Hinata didn't even have the chance to talk, for she was dragged helplessly by her father.

Tsunade was expected that Hiashi would show her a broken hand of Hinata, or anything worse than that, but she wasn't expected… a small cut scratched innocently on Hinata's wrist.

Tsunade vein pop mode: ON.

"AND WHY THE HECK THAT SCRATCH COST MUCH FOR YOU TO RUIN MY WONDERFUL EVENING?" Tsunade yelled in anger.

"BECAUSE THIS SCRATCH IS ON MY LOVELY DAUGHTER'S WRIST!" somehow, the shouting turned out into a competition. Hinata could swear that she saw some judges appeared from out of nowhere. Wait, her mind was playing trick with her, or… was it?

"Go- Godaime-sama, chichiue… P- Please stop shouting, I'm okay…" Hinata stuttered, making the two adults threw their attention at her.

"See, even your daughter said so," Tsunade scowled, but Hiashi ignored her, giving all of his attention to his daughter.

"Hinata? Are you sure you are alright? Chichiue didn't hear you making any sound after you arrived, dear! Chichiue was worried to death!" Hiashi hugged his daughter, almost making Hinata, who was still in her ANBU uniform, death of suffocation.

"Err… actually chi- chichiue, I _did_ say something before y- you dragged me to Hokage-sama's office…" Hinata said breathlessly. Her own father would commit killing his own daughter if he kept hugging her for a little longer.

"Oh, really?" Hiashi's brows twitched, "when?"

"W- Well, I told you I could heal my own scar, be- before you dragged me here…"

There's an awkward silent and sound of a bird chipping before Hiashi realized what she meant.

"See?" Tsunade said a word to break the silence.

"Ah, well…" Hiashi sweat-dropped. Watching her daughter applied a healing jutsu over her scratch, and it vanished without trace.

"Anyway, that's not only about it!" Hiashi, attempted to throw away his embarrassment, back to his old habit; scowling, "just don't put Hinata in such a dangerous mission, I don't want to see her hurt by the enemies, _anymore_" said Hiashi, tensing on the last word.

"B- But chichiue, th- this scratch was not because of the enemies… I- I got it just now when I arrived at home and carelessly scratched my hand against the nail on the front door," Hinata explained.

"Eh?" Hiashi jaw-dropped, "Eh? I guess… er… hehehe, Godaime-sama!" Hiashi scratched his head in a non Hiashi-ish way. In his head, he has planned to put a 'chichiue-line' (the one looked alike the police line, but this one was slightly different) around the damned nail to make sure of his daughter's safety.

"Anyway, I couldn't let Hinata without mission. That would be a waste of talent, though… You didn't know how much of an asset Hinata is," Tsunade sighed, "I've prepared a mission for her after this one."

"Noooooo!" Hiashi wailed, but Hinata has already approached Tsunade's desk, tried her best to avoid her father's death grips for preventing her to approach Tsunade.

"I'll take the mission, Godaime-sama," Hinata accepted, her voice full of determination.

"Good, I'll explain the mission to you," Tsunade smiled, she really liked the determination and guts that Hinata had, she was, after all, an-ex apprentice of her. Tsunade herself has decided that Hinata no longer need to be taught by her.

"And quit sulking, Hyuuga-sama," told Tsunade when she noticed a dark chakra in the corner of her room, "I need you to tell one of your underling to bring clothes for Hinata and leave it to Shizune, Hinata couldn't walk around with her ANBU outfit without being unnoticed, and for your self, I need you to prepare this," she raised a scroll on her hand and gave it to Hiashi, who has already quit sulking, but still having the dark, gloomy chakra around him, "it is needed in her mission."

Hiashi accepted the scroll from Godaime and exited the room. Tsunade glanced back to Hinata, ready to explain her new mission.

"This is an international S-rank mission, Hinata-chan. Every five _Kage_ has decided that you are fit for this mission. Well, I'm sure you have heard about the Akatsuki organization, Hinata-chan?" Tsunade paused, giving a chance for Hinata to nod.

"If I'm not mistaken, Tsunade-sama, they are the secret bodyguards which members are still unknown, right?"

This time, Tsunade nodded, "Right, Hinata. It took us years after we found some people who might be the members of Akatsuki…" Tsunade's voice tailed, waiting for Hinata to catch her clue.

"Ano… d- do you want me to annihilate the Akatsuki members, Tsunade-sama?" Hinata stuttered and played with her fingers. Even though she was already an ANBU captain, she couldn't get rid of an old habit, but well… it helped her to conceal her ability, though.

"Well, that's not what I mean, Hinata-chan. Akatsuki are a bunch of skilled bodyguard with outstanding skills. It'll be a waste if you annihilate them. Well, even though they are a bodyguard group, they only pick the ones they want to protect, depends on the challenge they'll get, and also, they love to kill their enemies, though. What I want you to do is to keep an eye on them," Tsunade said, pointing one of her eye.

"Eye?" Hinata mimicked Tsunade's movement, "y- you meant I have to spy on them? B- But… which member you want me to spy on? Th- there are eight of them…"

"To be true, Hinata-chan, its not like 'spying' on them, but 'taking care' of them," Tsunade suppressed a laugh.

"T- Taking care? Wh- what do you mean, Tsunade-sama?" Hinata got a bad hunch about this, a very bad one.

"Well, they'll stay with you, Hinata-chan!"

And Hinata did the only sane thing in her mind.

She fainted

-break-

An: Like that, no? Well, I'll continue if I get about 12 to 15 reviews, coz actually… this is just a side-fanfic that I made out of boredom… Btw, thanks for my roommate, for beta-reading this fic! Btw, _Naigi-sama_ means as Miss Landlady or one's wife. Umm, I haven't think about pairings yet, you decide then! Btw, suggestions accepted!

Next spoiler (maybe, harharhar!):

Hinata had to deal with the suspects! A religion-dogma fanatic, a Pocky addict, a green tree activist, a figurine collector, an art lover, a childish young man, a stingy guy, and… a mysterious person the other called as Shuhan-sama… well, how did Hinata manage them in her new house, anyway?


	2. From Rin: Shin's msg

Hi, I'm Rin, one of shinenagai's friends and Shin trusted me to send this message to you all... Shin currently hospitalised and he/she cant use internet for quite a long time or even writing the new chapters. The Doctors told Shin to take a total rest while on hospital, and forbid Shin to touch his/her laptop. So here I am, sending the message Shin texted to me thru the mobile phone:

"Hello all readers it seems like I cant upload the next chapter soon... I am hospitalised now and I cant be on soon. I apologize coz I promised to update this story soon after I received 12/15 reviews, but I couldnt complete this soon... I'm really2 sorry and I try to find a way to update this story soon. Thanks for reading and review!!"

Well, that's all Shin has texted to me. Its up to you to believe him/her or not. Anyway, I've finished my duty to send Shin's message tho... Let's pray so Shin could get well soon, so I can torture him/her again p 


	3. Ch2: Mission Under Mission Under Mission

**Aahh!! Naigi-sama!**

**Disclaimer:** Masashi Kishimoto, yep. But since Sasori was dead and I revived him again, that means, he's mine, right??

**Genre:** Humor/Romance

**Type:** Continuation hmmm…?

**Rate: **T

**Pairings:** Hinata-Akatsuki Members

**Summary:** Hinata, ANBU, was entrusted an S-class mission: keep an eye over the suspects of Akatsuki members in… her house. How would she deal with these guys when each of them has weird habit?

**Aahh!! Naigi-sama!**

**Chapter 2:** A Mission Under A Mission Under A Mission

_Just how much people were related, actually!?_

In a very dark cave, five men who were wearing the same dark cloaks, gathered in a very mysterious way. The only light that succeeded to creep in their meeting was from the candle that one of them has lit.

"So…" The only word was muttered from one of the group, who seemed to be the leader of them. The others gulped, clear that the anxiety has consumed their spirit.

"We've strangled him, Shuhan-sama, yeah…" said one of the members who had long blond hair. His hair bang covered his left eye; the only eye that visible from him gleamed in satisfaction.

"It wasn't a big deal, we just have to toss a coin to the empty air, and before it fell to the ground, this guy-" a guy with a spiky black hair and an orange mask kicked the strangled body, "-caught it within millisecond."

"Good job, Deidara, Tobi," Shuhan nodded in acknowledgment. He then turned his glance to the guy that was strangled and lying on the ground, "now explain this to me, Kakuzu."

"Che, what should I explain to you, son of a bitch!" Kakuzu spitted, only getting more kick from Tobi as the reply.

"Just answer him, Kakuzu!" Tobi yelled.

"Now, now, Tobi… calm down, we don't need to have a rough way to make him admits his mistake," a guy with an evil smile appeared from behind and patted Tobi's shoulder.

"Hidan…"

Hidan bended down to reach Kakuzu's head and pulled one of his hair strands until it was off from his head.

"Why you took his hair?" asked Tobi, excited because he's going to see another Hidan's new game. Hidan just snickered and put Kakuzu's hair inside a straw doll.

"Just watch this…" Hidan grinned evilly and took off a hammer and a nail from his pocket, "a simple voodoo ritual"

"Wuaaa!! Stop it, Hidan-baka!! I admit it, I did it, yes, I did it! It's my fault!" Kakuzu suddenly confessed in fear, before Hidan even started to hit the nail into the doll.

"Ah, this guy has decided to confess," Hidan smiled and put all of the things back into his pocket.

"Geez, sure is easy," Tobi snickered, "if only Itachi-san was around, things could be easier though. He could make Kakuzu admit in seconds with his Mangekyou… speaking of him, where is he now?"

"Taking a nap after feeding his pet," Deidara replied nonchalantly.

"Feeding his beloved pet again?? What kind of food he gave this time?" Tobi shivered, remembering the time when Itachi accidentally offered his toe as his pet's snack, "Oh well, can't be helped," said Tobi as he helped Kakuzu to sit down. All of the guys in the room gathered around, circling Kakuzu.

"Now, Kakuzu…" Shuhan took a deep breath and pierced Kakuzu's gaze with his eyes, "I wonder, why are we here?"

"To hold a meeting?" replied Kakuzu so fake-innocently.

"Yes, that's right," said Shuhan, stood up from where he sat and approached Kakuzu, "Didn't I tell you that we should have a proper place to hold a meeting? And I give you all the money to manage it?"

"Umm, yes…"

"Then answer me, Kakuzu," Shuhan then put his hand on Kakuzu's shoulder, the devilish chakra that he had has grown fiercely, "WHY IN HELL WE HAVE THIS SILLY CAVE INSTEAD OF A LOUNGE IN A FIVE STARS HOTEL!? WHY THERE'S ONLY CANDLE INSTEAD OF THE GLAMOUROUS CRYSTAL LAMPS!? ORAAAAA!!!"

"SHUHAN-SAMA!!!" cried Tobi and Deidara in unison, while Hidan was busy watching the event. Shuhan was swinging Kakuzu madly by grabbing on his collar.

"Shuhan-sama!! Restrain, yeah!" Deidara tried to approach him, "Quick, Tobi! Take 'that box' to make him calm down!" yelled Deidara anxiously. If Shuhan would swing Kakuzu a little longer, not only Kakuzu would be dead (like he cared though…), but the cave might collapse too.

"'That box'!? You mean 'that!?' Are you even sure about it, Deidara-san!?" Tobi yelled.

"Yes, I'm absolutely sure about it! Just take it from Shuhan-sama's bag!" said Deidara, succeeded to released Shuhan's grip from Kakuzu, "and Hidan, give me a hand, yeah!?"

"Che," Hidan glared because he was disturbed while having fun in watching them. He then took his scythe, cut his left hand with it and he threw the hand towards Deidara, hit it straight on the face, "there, happy?" said Hidan, and he continued to laid back at the cave wall, watching.

"Oraaa!! Stupid idiot Hidan, yeah! Tobi, have you found 'that box' yet!?" yelled Deidara, strangled both of Shuhan's hands with his.

"Yes, catch this!" Tobi threw 'the box' and Deidara made a perfect catch on it. He quickly opened 'the box', and stuffed the entire thing inside 'it' to Shuhan's mouth. After some gruesome noises and pants, Shuhan became calm and steady again.

"Phew… there he goes, yeah…" Deidara released Shuhan, and wiped the sweats that covered his forehead, "whatta mess, yeah…" he cursed between his pants.

"Geez, 'that box' really goes as an ultimate weapon, right, Deidara-san?" Tobi laughed and helped Shuhan to sit on a rock, "so, Shuhan-sama, what are we going to do with this bastard?"

"Give him to Itachi and offer him as his pet's snack," said the Leader after taking a deep breath.

"Oh, sure thing," Tobi then dragged Kakuzu along with him.

"No, I'm kidding, idiot," said Shuhan quickly before Tobi brought Kakuzu to Itachi's lair, "I am not in the mood to be mad just in case of money corruption…"

"Yeah, yeah, sure…" muttered Tobi beneath his breath.

"Did you say something, Tobi?" said Shuhan devilishly.

"Eh?? Nothing, nothing!!"

"Good then, well…. Kakuzu… your punishment is…" Shuhan snickered devilishly, "to give back the money you have corrupted."

"But, Shuhan-sama! That wasn't a fair punishment for what he did, yeah!" Deidara doubted, along with agreement nods from Tobi.

"STFU, I haven't finished speaking yet!" Shuhan glared at them, making Deidara and Tobi cowered in fear, "the next punishment is will be up to Hidan."

"What do you mean, Shuhan-sama?" said Hidan, who have stopped finished sewing back his left hand when his name was mentioned.

"Oh, you can use Kakuzu anyway you like, you can sacrifice him, offer him to your God, anything, really"

"Really? I could chop him in pieces and offer him to my God?" Hidan's eyes blinked in happiness.

"Sure, sure, whatever," Shuhan waved his hand like it was nothing for him.

"Shuhan-sama is scary, yeah…" Deidara whispered to Tobi.

"Indeed… maybe it is the feedback of 'the box'?" Tobi whispered back to Deidara.

"Did I hear you talking?" said Shuhan, suddenly popped between those two.

"Gyaaaa!! Shuhan-sama!!" Deidara and Tobi screamed in Unison. Man, it's not good for your heart if someone's suddenly popped out from nowhere in the middle of your talk.

Before Shuhan even could react, they heard a big noise which coming closer and closer towards them. All of the sudden, the cave was full of smoke, and after it vanished, a figure with a red head emerged from the smoke.

"Everyone, I heard a bad news!" said the red-head seriously between his pants, "all of the Kages have suspected that we are indeed the Akatsuki, the dark bodyguards who don't follow the rules of each hidden village, and the Kages are going to send us under supervisor by a Ninja from Konohagakure!"

The other five men, who saw that red hair coming in suddenly, just gaped, jaw-dropped and dumbfounded.

"And it was said that the Ninja who will watch over us is a very talented Ninja, and she is the legend in ANBU of Konoha!" said the red hair again, putting more pressures this time.

No sound was made by the others.

"Oh God, why don't you just react!? Surprised or something!?" the red hair became uncontrollable. He just delivered a bad news to the Akatsuki members, but why in hell they didn't even react!?

"Err… excuse me…? Who are you?" said Deidara, breaking the silence that spread upon them.

"Who am I!? It's me, it's me! Don't you know just by looking at me!?" said the red hair, this time he stand up straight, and his zanpakutou gleaming under the light…. Err, did I say zanpakutou?

"We don't have a member with silly spiky pony tail like you in this organization. Moreover, what's with that tattoo and weird eyebrows that you got!?" yelled Tobi, pushing Deidara aside so he could take a better look at the red hair. Deidara, who was itched by the pain that was caused by Tobi, just cursed under his breath. He took a glance at the red hair, and indeed he thought that he's quite artistic, especially the tattoo that covered all over his body. He wondered how far the tattoo traveled around the red-hair's body, and while thinking of this, he blushed. Ow, his naughty brain…

"Geez, just cut off the henge already, Sasori," said Shuhan, knowing that the tattooed red hair was indeed Sasori, "this weird hobby of yours is just confusing the other members."

"What!? Why do you think that cosplaying hobby is weird, Shuhan-sama!? This is the work of art, you know…" Sasori sulked, making Deidara, his partner in everything especially art, shed tears of understanding.

"Mehh, like I care," Shuhan shook his head, "cut it off already."

"I can't Shuhan-sama, because I didn't use a henge to get this looks," Sasori turned around his body, showing off his new cosplay, "it's a pure art!"

"Good job, Sasori-danna, yeah!" Deidara raised his two thumbs, eyes swelled in tears of happiness.

'_Man… why all of my underlings are this stupid…'_ Shuhan mentally hit his head, while Sasori was busy showing his new sword called as _zabimura, zaribuma, _or something to Tobi and Deidara who were so excited like kids.

"I said, cut it off, Sasori…" Shuhan sighed, muttered several 'whoosah' under his breath, "just tell me, who the hell will be charged to look on us at Konoha?"

"Hmmm…" Sasori's face suddenly turned serious, "I don't know the name, though, but I heard that she's a top ranking ANBU, the legendary captain with the mask of Crow who was feared by every enemy. From hearing her fearful career, I bet she has top rank muscles, scary face, and scars all over her body."

The other gulped… _Yuck…_

"And she has a very dark long hair, which made her looks like the character I cosplayed about two weeks ago, you know that character, Deidara, the one who climbed up from a well and walked out from the TV… and she also has evil white eyes…"

Elsewhere, Hinata sneezed.

"Oh my fucking Kanzeon Bosatsu, she's scary!" Deidara yelped after a few minutes of silence.

"Well, I don't mind being supervised by a hot looking babe, but this type!? I disagree with this!" said Tobi.

"No, we can't do that, Tobi, if we did, all of the Kages might realize that we are indeed the Akatsuki members, and that way, they will send all of the greatest Shinobis from each country to wipe our asses off from this living world!" said Sasori.

"Like, could we just bribe her or anything?" said Kakuzu, whom suddenly appeared out of nowhere. His body is covered with a lot of Amulets, a prove that Hidan was having fun with him.

"I don't think that this woman is the type who'll be bribed so easily, Kakuzu," said Hidan followed behind, "she's not the same species as you."

"Like, what can we do, yeah?" Deidara sniffed.

"If we couldn't run from this, let us make her do it instead," said Shuhan, breaking the silence. Everyone in the room listened carefully to Shuhan's words.

"We will come in several groups, two people each. While she is spying at us, we do the same. We could search for her weakness, telling the rest who'll come next and then breaking havoc, it is that simple," continued Shuhan. Everyone in the cave nodded in agreement. Man, it will be fun to scare a lady, besides, it was their special ability.

"Agreed," said the other members in unison, grinning devilishly.

"Now get ready and move," Shuhan stood up from where he sat, "and Sasori, go wake that lazy ass Itachi."

Sasori nodded.

Three minutes later, they heard Sasori screamed _'I am bitten!!'_

-break-

"You called, Hiashi-sama?" Neji knocked the door to a room where Hiashi, who was crouching at the dark end of the room, sulked.

Hearing Neji's voice, Hiashi was back to his old, stern self. He stood up straight, ordered _'come in'_ with red eyes. (This was indeed clear because he was crying the whole time)

"I am going to give you a very important mission, Neji," said Hiashi sternly, "this is involving your life and death, if you failed, I shall banish you to hell."

"Yes, Hiashi-sama," Neji nodded in understanding. It seemed like this was going to be a very important mission.

"You are going to look over Hinata secretly while she was staying in her new house all by herself."

"Hinata-sama staying in a new house, why?"

"Because she is going to stay to open some rooms for rent, that's what Godaime wants her to do," Hiashi lied.

Neji chuckled secretly. Man, did Godaime really look that _down_ on Hinata, so she sent her to open an apartment instead of doing her chuunin mission? Poor Hinata… Mehh, like he cared though. It was best to be like this, Hinata was weak after all.

"Understood, Hiashi-sama," said Neji.

"And Neji, you are going to do this mission with another Shinobi," Hiashi sniffed.

"Err… yeah?" Neji furrowed his eyebrows. Did he just hear Hiashi sniffed?

"That brat Uzumaki Naruto will accompany youuu!!!" Hiashi wailed. Oh, damn that Godaime, she told him that Naruto need more exercises in spying, but why must be his precious daughter to be the target!? Everyone knew that after the training with Jiraiya, Naruto has inherited his pervert brain.

"Naruto!?" Neji's heart was beating faster. Not in anger, but it was because he was going to be with Naruto, though. Alas, he would be paired with that Naruto who have lit his world from the darkness!

"Yes, that Naruto…" Hiashi sobbed, "and now just get out from this room!!" Hiashi shouted. Neji quickly bolted from the room and closed the door behind him. He danced all along his way back to his room.

Meanwhile, Hiashi was crying, hugging Hinata plushie with him.

-break-

AN: Hi, this is Shin! I am still hospitalized by now, and the only thing I do to get rid of my boredom is writing this fanfic and other stuffs. I wrote this in my notebook and asked Rin to type and posted this for me to Well, I must say thanks to her, though… Anyway, thank you for your messages that support me to be healthier! Thanks for Riley Killer, Rambie, chibismiles5266, FIREKEEPER, DestinyDevil and ItachiBaby. Rin printed me the reviews and showed it to me, that's why I decided to write this chapter. I'm sorry if this one is suck, though… Oh, I also want to say thanks to rcr, for showing me how to continue this fic, and for the other reviewers, Konichiwa!, Firenze2000, MetalDragonFX, Sae, Othello101, AkatsukiAddict, AnimeStarGirl81, flyingshadow13, dreamalluwant2, rynnsloveless2, wayfarer-redemption, Lilyshinobiwolf94, briea22, sachichan16, HisaAngel, and crazyforsasuke… phew… I don't forget anyone, rite?

Btw, eventhough Rin's nice to me, actually she's very evil… She brought me a box of pizza the other day, and man, she ate it all up! Saying things like; "the Doctor prohibits you to eat this thing, dear…"

Oh, and don't worry, Deidara here isn't going to be a gay, neither do Neji. It's just some slight admire thingie, more like a one-side shounen-ai for Neji, though. But I ain't gonna put graphic yaoi in here, don't worry for non yaoi supporters, and sorry for them who loves yaoi!

Please read and review! I'll wait for about 15 reviews to continue to the next chapter!!

Rin's Note: Okay, I've typed this whole chapter up and posted it here as Shin's wish…(that bastard better pay… what a bad handwriting he/she got) And don't believe him/her from saying that I brought the pizza and ate the whole thing up because I want to pick fun on him/her… The truth was, I thought the pizza might be a waste if Shin couldn't eat it :-p


	4. Ch3: The Lost Kid

**Aahh!! Naigi-sama!**

**Disclaimer:** Masashi Kishimoto, yep. But since Sasori was dead and I revived him again, that means, he's mine, right??

**Genre:** Humor/Romance

**Type:** Continuation hmmm…?

**Rate: **T

**Pairings:** Hinata-Akatsuki Members

**Summary:** Hinata, ANBU, was entrusted an S-class mission: keep an eye over the suspects of Akatsuki members in… her house. How would she deal with these guys when each of them has weird habit?

**Aahh!! Naigi-sama!**

**Chapter 3:** The Lost Kid

_Deidara was fated to be paired with his doom_

Deidara looked upon the great azure sky. Man, what a nice breeze that he had here. Birds were chipping, the sound of the river flowing, the smell of blowing wind, and the noise of Itachi… snoring!?

"WTF!! Itachi-san!! Wake up, yeah!" Deidara quickly strangled Itachi's limp body, banging it several times to the nearest tree, spinning him around and used a chair to hit Itachi's back.

Itachi woke up slowly from his deadly slumber because of Deidara's final move. He yawned, scratching the back of his head and did some stretching moves until finally he said, "where the fuck are we now?"

"Kanzeon Bosatsu, give me strength, yeah…" Deidara sighed, "Look, Itachi, we are sent into a mission now by Shuhan-sama, to check at that nasty babe in Konoha, yeah, that one whose mission is to take care of us all because all of the Kages have sniffed our organization, you got that, Ita- SHIT! How the heck could you fall asleep again, yeah!?" Deidara realized that Itachi haven't heard what he has said at all. Itachi was too busy drooling over his robe.

Deidara shed tears of sorrow and grief. Why did Shuhan-sama paired him with Itachi instead of Sasori?

After using a German Supplex move to wake Itachi up, Deidara decided that he had enough already.

"Itachi-san! I'm not going to continue this mission with you, and your shark pet, yeah! Now we have our own separate ways! I'll go to the Demon Lady's house all by myself, and you should do the same with that damn-so-ugly carnivore, yeah!" Deidara shouted furiously at Itachi, and he turned around. Stomping his way to Konoha in anger.

Without he realized, Itachi has fallen asleep again, not even listening to the smallest thing Deidara has said. His breaths were so soft, he had a very peaceful sleep like a baby, leaning over the gigantic shark aquarium that he brought along with him.

-break-

Hinata looked upon the sky through her window. It seemed like it would be raining soon. She has waited for two days already for the arrival of the Akatsuki members, but none of them was here yet. Should she catch them one by one and tied them up and burry them in her basement? Duhh… Godaime-sama would not give permission for that.

"Hinata-sama?" a woman around Hinata's age called her, Hinata turned around, leaving the window sill. There she saw her only servant in the house bowing, her shoulders were trembling.

"Yes, what is it, Rin?" asked Hinata anxiously. Rin looked very sad, like she was having a very bad problem.

"I should go home now, Hinata-sama. I just received a phone call from my family in the southern village, I have some new-born family members, and the mother is in a very bad condition! I have to ask your permission to grant me some days off, Hinata-sama!"

"Rin, calm down, everything's going to be okay," said Hinata, trying to soothe Rin, "of course I will let you take some days off."

"Thank you Hinata-sama, thank you very much!" Rin bowed, and then with a ninja-maid-speed, she took her belongings and bolted out from the room, screaming _'Nekocchi! Mama's coming!'_.

Hinata's eyes bulged. Rin left her only because she got some new kittens! Silly maid, now she has left her all alone to deal with the Akatsuki.

-break-

Deidara looked to the left, to the right, up, down, and he moved his hip in a circular motion. Wait, he realized his own foolishness, he didn't suppose to do an aerobic right now. He was lost and he searched for his way to Konoha. He was never been to Konoha before, that's why Shuhan paired him with Itachi, and because Deidara was a total idiot, he parted with Itachi by his own will.

Deidara scratched his head, confused. He should ask for directions, but he knew he couldn't do that. People might be scared to see him, even before he greeted them first. Damn triple mouths and Akatsuki purple nail polish! Speaking about Akatsuki… he shouldn't let people know that he's one of the members. So that's it! Deidara has decided to disguise himself!

With a sound of 'puff', Deidara successfully changed himself into one of Sasori's cosplayed characters. Why did he follow Sasori instead of making new one? Well, it's simple. For Deidara, Sasori was his Jesus in the art of disguise.

Now, Deidara was ready with his new look. He stepped confidently to the nearby city.

"KYAAAAAA!!!" a woman shrieked in fear and pointed her finger at Deidara. The whole people there looked at the direction, and suddenly their face filled with fear.

"IT'S GODZILLAAAAA!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVE!!!"

In less than three seconds, the whole city was empty. Deidara shrugged, and he left. Maybe it's wrong to pick Sasori's most recent cosplay.

Deidara thought very hard about which character that he would use as his new disguise. The character must be a human, looking though and cocky, but charming and funny at once. If he was not mistaken, he knew a character that Sasori has used before.

-break-

Rukia (yes, dear readers, its _Rukia_ the shinigami, there's nothing wrong with your eyes, you really read it as _Rukia_ :p) looked around Konohagakure with her _Shode no Shirayuki_ sheathed in her left hand. She's been ordered along with Renji to defeat a hollow in Konoha, and they did it in less than five minutes.

Now the other problem has surfaced. Renji was lost. He told Rukia that he needed to go to the toilet, but its been more than thirty minutes, and Renji didn't appear yet. Not long again, the _Jigoku no Cho_ might come to get them back to _Seireitei_.

'_Where the heck is that useless red head?'_ Rukia cursed under her breath. She tried to search for his _Reiatsu_, but she couldn't feel it. She was starting to get worried now. Felt that it was useless to search for Renji with just sensing his _reiatsu_, Rukia then set off, decided to search Renji manually.

-break-

Deidara succeeded to reach the gate of Konoha. His eyes were gleaming in tears of happiness. At last, after five hours of seeking, he arrived at Konoha. Kanzeon Bosatsu must loved him so much!

Of course the gate keeper wouldn't let Deidara get in so easily. They didn't even open the gate for an inch. Deidara smirked. Slipping through those idiot guards would be very easy. He just needed to walk a bit further from the gate and jumped to the wall. With his skill and his enormous speed, everything would be done in less than a second.

Deidara jumped to the wall, and the guards didn't notice him. Perfect! He didn't jump to the city soon though, he decided to take a look from the border. Well, Konoha seemed to be a nice village!

"RENJI!!!" a woman shouted from under the wall and she quickly jumped to his side.

"Huh?"

"What's with that oh-so-damn-innocent _Huh_!?" Rukia beat him until Deidara's face was almost the same like a _pitechantropus erectus_, "we're late, idiot! _Jigoku no Cho _might come soon to pick us up!"

"Pick us where, yeah?" asked Deidara painfully.

"Idiot, don't act like you don't know anything, red head! We're going back to seireitei, our mission here is done!"

Deidara blinked. It was clear now; this woman has got a wrong person. The character that Deidara cosplayed must be someone that the woman knew.

"Listen, woman, I don't know who you're searching for, but I swear you got a wrong person, yeah! I could proof it to you!" Deidara tried to undo his jutsu, he did some hand seals, and… failed.

"Eh?"

"What are you trying to do, idiot!?" Rukia smacked Deidara's head.

"But, it's true, I swear! I'm not this so-called Renji person, yeah!" Deidara shrieked.

"OMG…" Rukia closed her mouth with her hands in shock. It's the first time she heard Renji _shrieked_, even in their hundreds years relationship. There's no doubt! Rukia might have hit his head too hard that he has lost his memory!

"It's an emergency, Renji, we should go back to Seireitei soon, they'll heal you there! Ah, there's _Jigoku no Cho, _off we go!" Rukia pulled Deidara's sleeve and brought him trough the gate, putting no pity at Deidara's who was wailing 'cops, it's a kidnapping, yeah!'.

-break-

"So, Renji has lost his memory?" asked Rangiku.

"Seems so, he's so confused with his surroundings now…" Kira nodded.

"So that means, he doesn't know anything?" asked Ikkaku.

"Yeah…" replied Yumichika.

The four shinigamis grinned evilly.

"Renji, fufufufufufu…" the four shinigamis circled the wrong-timed-wrong-placed Deidara. Deidara looked at them fearfully.

"_Oh SHIT!"_

"What's that sound?" asked Ikkaku.

"_Oh SHIT!_"

"Hey, it's coming closer!" Kira yelled.

"_Oh SHIT!_"

"OMG! It's Byakuya-sama's anthem!" Rangiku and Yumichika shrieked.

"_Oh SHIT!_"

The song 'Seireitei Bridge' sang by Fergie, which lyric was adapted from the original song by Byakuya himself, was getting closer and clearer. Byakuya was walking to them; his hair was waving slowly, blowed by the mobile electric fan which one of his underling brought. With some background dancers, Byakuya lip-singed the song, and doing some Fergie-ish poses while getting closer to them.

"Byakuya-sama…" all of the shinigami was dumbfounded, except Deidara who was clearly confused.

"I heard that Renji has lost his memory," said Byakuya calmly.

"Y- yes sir…" said all of the shinigami in unison.

"I'll take him with me," said Byakuya.

"B- but, sir, what are you going to do to him?" asked Ikkaku.

"I'll make him remember again," Byakuya grinned, his smile was filled in lust. He took Deidara's hand and dragged him to his room, followed by the background song and the dancers, not forgetting sakura confetti.

"Hey…"

"What?"

"Didn't Rukia said not to let Renji meet Byakuya until he's healed?"

"Yeah…"

"Then why did we…?"

The four shinigamis blinked.

"Quick, cook a red rice! Renji's going to throw his cherry! It's a par-taaaaayyyy!!!!"

-break-

Byakuya's room was quite dark, rose aromatherapy were in the air, and some candles were lit in the corner of the room. From the jukebox, Deidara could hear the song 'Take It Off' by Pharrel. Deidara gulped.

"Renji…" Byakuya called him.

Deidara looked behind, and his eyes almost bulged from its proper place. Byakuya has loosen up his obi and let one of his kimono sleeves slid from his shoulder, revealing the pale white shoulder and chest. He didn't wear his usual hair ornament anymore; he has tied his hair into a bun.

"OMGWTFBBQ!?" Deidara jumped from his seat and ran to the door, he tried to open it several times, but it was locked.

"Useless, the door's locked from outside, there's no way you could run away, Renji. Just sit back and relax, I'll teach you something nice that I've been wanting to show you for a looooooooong time ago," Byakuya walked closer to him.

"Pleaaaaseee, yeah……" Deidara begged so helplessly. His feet were trembling so bad.

Byakuya touched Deidara's chin with his index-finger.

"OWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! IMNOTRENJIIMNOTRENJIIMNOTRENJIIMNOTRENJIIIIIIIIII!!!!" Deidara unconsciously did some hand seals, and the disguise was cancelled, he's back to his original form, crying and panting breathlessly.

"Oh my, you're not Renji... Dear, no wonder you didn't know anything," Byakuya shooked his head.

"Y- YES! Now let me go, yeah…?" Deidara begged.

Byakuya smiled.

"Unfortunately, no. I've waited too long to be a _seme_, and you are absolutely my type, beautiful," Byakuya pushed Deidara to the door, cornered him.

"BYAKUYA-SAMAAAAA!!!"

Suddenly, with a loud bang, the door was opened, and outside the room, there stood the real Renji! Deidara was crying in happiness, his saviour was here!

"Renji?" asked Byakuya.

"WTF!? What are you trying to do to him, _Taichou_!?" Renji looked at the poor little thing at the floor who looked at him as if saying I'd-rather-die-than-staying-here.

"Just a little chit-chat," said Byakuya innocently.

"I'll send him back to his world, _adieu monsieur_!!!" Renji picked Deidara up and bolted away from the room.

Byakuya was left alone, half naked.

"Oh, my... I don't mind a threesome actually…"

-break-

The gate to Konoha from Seireitei has opened. Deidara was going to go back, and the problems in seireitei has settled down, and everyone was happy, except for Byakuya.

"Thank God I appeared at the right time, if not, you might lost your virginity!" Renji laughed.

"Thank you, yeah" Deidara bowed.

"Byakuya-sama has aiming for me for a long time ago, but he didn't has the chance, I got a girl friend already, his sister, so her position is kinda protecting me, you know," said Renji, "but… it's weird, actually. It's the first time I saw Byakuya-sama has put an interest over a woman."

"I'm a guy, yeah…" said Deidara dangerously.

"Oh? Byakuya-sama sure got a nice eyes! Oh well, off you go!" Renji pushed Deidara through the gate and waved at him, watching Deidara fell slowly in the high tunnel.

-break-

Meanwhile, Hinata has finished doing her errands. She decided to cut her way home through a nearby field. She didn't know that she might found an unconscious Akatsuki member who was crying and mumbling 'keep the gay retard away, yeah'.

-break-

AN: Hi, shin's here!!! (killed by the readers) Owww…. I know its such a very late update! I was running out of idea, lazy, and busy! I got some jobs recently, and doing some researches, writing summaries and stuff, so really, I don't have time to write (lame excuse :p) I put in hiatus, but then I decided to keep on, though the update might be late. I'm very sorry for all of the reviewers that I can't mention one by one, you are all so kind!

Okay, I'll start writing again after I received 15 or more reviews, as usual! Btw, if some of you who read this fic also read my other fic A Long Waiting, don't forget to leave some reviews. My poor angst fanfic didn't have much reviews. Do I work better at gags? Though it is more fun to do this one  what do you think?

Anyway, its very hard to write gags, cause if I don't get the right idea, the story might turn lame, sigh. So, if you have any ideas to put at the next chapter, feel free to post it at the review!

Notes: For those who didn't understand what _seme_ is, it's a term that used to call the '_pitcher_' for gay couple, while the '_catcher_' itself is called _uke_. You got my clue?? wink

Spoiler:

The next member that's on his way is Itachi, along with his infamous pet shark! What kind of things that will encounter them while they search for Hinata? An Illegal Shark Fin Soup Syndicate?


End file.
